In Fertility… Chapter Eleven: Long Distance Booty Call
April 21st, 2009 by Daddy

After about a week back in Maryland, it appears that my mother is doing better than we – or at least I – expected. She gets tired easily, but is generally strong. The living room has been converted into a makeshift hospital room, complete with hospital bed, oxygen tanks, charts on clipboards and bottles upon bottles of pills, but other than that, it feels much like a normal visit home. It’s not like she’s out of the woods or anything – she is still in hospice care – but her quality of life doesn’t seem significantly worse than it has been over the last couple of months.

The time has come, however, for the next “baby-bout” and I get the 3,000-mile booty call from Lyena. At 2AM one morning, she calls me, drunk, and says, “I want you. I need you. I must have you. NOW!” I immediately jump in the car, speed to the airport and shove my way onto the next plane headed to LA. When I land, Lyena is waiting in nothing but a trench coat and feather boa. We make it no farther than the car before she shreds off my clothes and takes me like the raw hunk of man-flesh that I am.

Okay. So maybe it didn’t happen exactly like that.

In actuality, it was several conversations over several days as Lyena got a series of ultrasounds and we determined our optimal moment of fertilization.

And instead of a trench coat and boa, it was yoga pants and a t-shirt.

And instead of actual, you know, sex, it was a speculum and syringe.

And instead of a car, it was Dr. VaJayjay’s office.

And instead of me, it was Dr. VaJayjay.

Other than that, it happened just like I said.

Up next… On The Road Again


Leave a Reply

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

SIDEBAR
»
S
I
D
E
B
A
R
«
»  Substance:WordPress   »  Style:Ahren Ahimsa
© Copyright © Dean Purvis. All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this blog, or any related text or images therein, may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means (electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the author.